รถเมล์เที่ยวสุดท้าย รองประธานนั่งบนตักฉัน — Chapter 8 The Break Room

Chapter 8 The Break Room

On Tuesday they almost did not see each other. On Wednesday afternoon marketing was called up to the eighteenth floor on short notice to revise a page needed for Thursday. There were many people in the conference room. Shen Man came in only at the start to assign the work, and she stayed five minutes. In those five minutes she did not look at Zhou Ye. Zhou Ye did not look at her more than the necessary number of times. This time necessary was zero. He stared at his own keyboard and listened to her voice as an ordinary superior's voice. It was difficult. The moment her voice went lower, he remembered her saying, by his ear, a little heavier. He typed two numbers wrong. Lin Qiming frowned. He corrected them at once.

By the time people dispersed it was already seven. Chen Xia said they should go eat noodles. Zhou Ye said he still had a page to revise. That was the truth. It was also true that he knew the light in Shen Man's office was still on. He did not go to that office. He went to the break room, meaning to pour a cup of hot tea that would not set his heart racing tonight. The break room was beside the fire stairs. At this hour there was no one in it.

When Shen Man pushed the door open, he was watching hot water run out of the machine. She clearly had not expected him either. Both of them stopped at the same time. The door closed slowly behind her. The sound-activated light in the corridor was still on. Their shadows could be seen on the glass.

"You shouldn't be waiting for me here," she said.

"I wasn't waiting. I was pouring tea."

Shen Man glanced at his cup, as if she accepted the explanation and also thought it too convenient. "Finished revising?"

"One page left."

"Then go revise it." After she said it, she did not step out of the way. Her hand braced the edge of the door. The knuckles were tight. Zhou Ye saw the blue under her eyes. From Monday to Wednesday she probably had not slept much. He wanted to ask whether she had eaten. Even that sentence was dangerous in the break room. He swallowed it and only held the cup out.

"You drink. I'll pour another."

Shen Man took the cup. Fingertips touched fingertips, and both of them reacted as if they had been burned. The tea was not actually hot anymore. She drank a mouthful. The center of her brow loosened a little, and she suddenly said, "I thought sending you home would make Monday lighter. It didn't."

"I know."

"When I don't look at you in meetings, it isn't that I don't want to. It's that I want to too much." She set the cup down. Her voice went lower. "Zhou Ye, the early sign that we're hiding this badly is that I'm still standing here."

The sound of the elevator came from the end of the corridor. Both of them stepped back at the same time. The elevator doors opened and closed again. No one came out. Maybe someone had pressed the wrong floor. Shen Man's shoulders loosened, and then tightened again. She looked at him as if she were fighting her own judgment.

"Come here," she said at last.

Zhou Ye went over. Shen Man caught the front of his shirt and pulled him into the angle by the door that the camera did not quite cover. Zhou Ye knew that angle because, in new-employee training, administration had said there was a blind spot behind the break room door. Knowledge that had seemed useless then had now become an accomplice. An alarm went off in him. It went off in Shen Man too. She kissed him anyway.

The kiss was urgent and light, as if she were afraid the sound-activated light would understand. The tip of her tongue touched him only once. Her lips stayed a long time. Zhou Ye's hand held her waist and did not go lower. The cloth of the suit dress was harder than the house clothes. The waist was still the stretch of waist he recognized. Shen Man's breath fell at the corner of his mouth. She was hard, or rather her nipples were hard inside her bra, brushing his chest lightly. Zhou Ye said, low, "Not here."

"I know," she said. Her forehead rested against his chin. She stopped for two seconds and still kissed him once more. "So only this far. Anything further and I'm destroying the rules I set myself."

The elevator sounded again. This time there were footsteps. Shen Man let go of him at once, turned, and opened the tap, as if she were washing a cup that was already clean. Zhou Ye grabbed his own cup and stood in front of the shelf, studying the English on a box of tea. A cleaner pushed the door open, glanced at them, said Ms. Shen was still here, and also said the break room light was unreliable sometimes. Shen Man smiled a little and said she was leaving in a moment. The smile was perfect, and it was false. While the cleaner mopped, he did not look at them again. But the mop paused in that blind spot behind the door. There was no water on the floor. The cleaner's gaze stayed on the dry floor for half a second before the mop went on.

After the person left, the only sound in the break room was the hum of the water heater. Shen Man's hands braced the sink. Her back was to him.

"Did you see that?" she said.

"I saw it."

"We're very bad at hiding."

Zhou Ye wanted to touch her back, and put his hand down instead. "Then tonight don't hide in this building anymore. If you want to see me, go to your place. If you don't want to, I'll go back and revise that page. The kiss just now can count, or it can not count."

Shen Man turned. Her lipstick had smeared a little. She wiped it with her thumb. There was anger in the movement. The anger was not aimed at him. "It counts. I want to see you. But if I call a car now, the system will keep two addresses from the same time. You leave first. Arrive in forty minutes. If you change your mind in those forty minutes, don't come. I won't ask why."

"I'll come."

"Bring your head with you," she said. "Don't bring only Monday's memory. We have to say it once more: how not to push each other into this."

Zhou Ye nodded. When he left the break room, the sound-activated light happened to go out, and then his steps lit it again. In the brightness he saw the unfinished cup of tea in his hand. The surface was still trembling lightly. He did not look back. If he looked back he would kiss her once more. Once had already been enough to make a mop stop.