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Chapter 14 Steam
Chapter 14 Steam
The glass of the shower fogged quickly. The three of them were packed together. Hot water washed off the dinner and the sweat. The space was small enough that anybody's elbow hit somebody's waist. While Li Gan washed Wu Ziyi's hair, his fingers went through the roots, and she closed her eyes and said suddenly, "If you do this I'll mistake care for love. Be careful."
"If you mistake it, ask me," he said. "Right now I am taking care of you. And I want to love you. I want to love both of you. Saying that in a shower may be too slippery. But I don't want my courage, by morning, to be nothing but water stains."
Zhang Xue leaned on the tile. Water ran down from her collarbone. She did not laugh at him. "You said you want to love. You didn't say you already know how. I can hear that. If you said you'd already learned to love equally, I'd turn the water off. Ziyi, what about you? You said just now you were afraid of later. Do you want a later? Or were you only fucked into saying it?"
Wu Ziyi opened her eyes. Drops hung on her lashes. "I want it. The later I want isn't the kind with a marriage registration, at least not now. It's that I can still put my hand on his leg at a red light, and you won't feel the seat has been stolen because of it. It's that we can fight, and after the fight there's still a car to sit in. It's that my being twelve years older than he is won't, some day, be treated by him as a mistake he has to overcome. Li Gan, look at me. The only thing you can promise is what you think now. Don't promise an age you can't control."
"What I think now," he said, looking at her and at Zhang Xue, "is that the age is there. I won't pretend I don't see it. I won't use it someday to explain why I left. If I leave, it's because I no longer want to stay, or because the two of you no longer want me. When that time comes I'll speak like a person. I won't say something empty like we aren't suited. As for equal, I'm still learning. Today, while I was inside you, I said her name. Afterward I grabbed your hand because I was afraid. Did you feel it?"
"I felt it," Wu Ziyi said.
"So did I," Zhang Xue said. She reached and shut the water off. "I don't want to renegotiate every clause while we're soaked. I'll only add one sentence. I don't want to be only the person who understands either. Tonight you opened the door first, Ziyi. I'm grateful. But later, sometimes, I want to open it first too. Don't put yourself in the place of the steadier older one every time. When you're steady I want very much to lean. When you aren't steady, I want even more to stay."
Wu Ziyi's mouth opened and did not find a rebuttal. She nodded. A drop fell from her chin.
They went back to the bed wrapped in towels. The sheet had been pulled halfway off, showing the dry side. Nobody rushed to start again. Li Gan leaned against the headboard. On the left was Wu Ziyi's wet hair. On the right was Zhang Xue's knee. A long time passed. Zhang Xue's hand went down from his chest and stopped at the edge of the towel. "I want it once more. The very slow kind. If you're tired, say red light. I can go back next door by myself and sleep holding this wanting."
Wu Ziyi looked at the clock. Eleven forty. "I still can. But it really has to be slow. My waist is reminding me that tomorrow I still have to stand in front of the client. Li Gan, you?"
"I want to," he said. "This time I'll lie here. Whichever of you wants to be on top, come. If you don't want to be entered, we can only lean together. I don't have an assignment that says I have to come."
Zhang Xue undid the towel and swung herself over him, and she did not sit down at once. She looked at Wu Ziyi first. "You touch me. Lie beside us and reach over. I want your fingers and mine together, opening me, and then I want him. That way this round isn't something I snatched for myself."
Wu Ziyi turned onto her side. Her palm covered Zhang Xue between the legs. Their fingers stacked and rubbed slowly over the place that had been washed clean and had gone wet again. Li Gan watched. His breath grew heavy. His hands stayed on Zhang Xue's thighs and did not grab upward. Zhang Xue bent and kissed him. Water from her hair dropped onto his face. "Look at our hands. This is what I want you to see. I'm thirty-six. She's thirty-eight. We know how to touch ourselves. You aren't a young man who came to teach us. You're the person we want."
"I know." His voice was rough. "I'm looking. Tell me when you want to sit down. The condom is still by the pillow."
She opened one herself and put it on him. Then she held him and sat down little by little. The entering was slower than any time before. She stopped at each inch. Wu Ziyi's fingers stayed on her clit, very light. None of the three spoke. The air conditioner's wind moved over wet skin. When Zhang Xue sat all the way down her eyes were closed and her mouth was a little open, as if she were confirming this was not a dream after a dinner.
She began to rock. Slow, deep, almost without the sound of impact. Wu Ziyi kissed her shoulder. Her fingers followed the rhythm. Li Gan's hands moved from her thighs to her waist and only steadied her, letting her use him herself. He looked at her face, then at the side of Wu Ziyi's face against her back. This time he did not feel he had to perform emergency rescue between two names. He said Zhang Xue. He said Ziyi. Both names were answered.
When Zhang Xue came she was quiet. She only sat at the deepest place and shook, her forehead against his, her breath broken into small pieces. Wu Ziyi felt the tops of her thighs trembling. Her own fingers were squeezed until they ached, and she stayed with her lightly until Zhang Xue said that was enough. Li Gan was not allowed to sprint on. Zhang Xue lifted off, took the condom off, tied a knot, and dropped it in the bin beside the bed. Then she bent and took his still-hard cock into her mouth, only for a little while, and drew off and looked at Wu Ziyi.
"Do you want to take him? Together, or you. I want you to decide whose mouth he comes in. I've already gotten a lot today."
Wu Ziyi's ears went red, and she still moved over. She kissed the corner of Zhang Xue's mouth first, then bent her head. Her mouth was slower than on the first night. Her hand held the base. Her tongue only tended the head. Zhang Xue's hand covered hers. The two of them worked him together. Li Gan's fingers went into Wu Ziyi's hair and did not push. "I'm close. Ziyi, may I come in your mouth? Zhang Xue, don't take your hand away."
"Yes," Wu Ziyi said around him. The word was unclear.
When he came his hips left the bed and his come surged into her mouth. She took it, swallowed, and when she lifted her head her eyes were wet. Zhang Xue wiped a little from the corner of her lip with her thumb and then kissed her. The kiss had his taste. Nobody minded it. Li Gan pulled both of them into his arms. The three heartbeats struck together and only slowly separated.
After the light went off, Wu Ziyi said in the dark, "Tomorrow morning we're still colleagues. If we meet a client in the elevator, you can call me Teacher Wu. Call me that. Only, once we're out of the elevator, don't take the title to bed."
Zhang Xue made a sound. Sleep was already in it. "Done. Li Gan, if you snore I'll go back to my own room. The card is under my pillow."
"I'll try not to," he said.
He did not actually know whether he snored. That night he woke once, at ten past two. A line of the city's light came through the gap in the hotel curtains. Wu Ziyi's hand lay on his chest. Zhang Xue's forehead was against his shoulder. Both of them were deeply asleep. He looked at that thin light. He did not take a photo, and he did not send any message. He only pulled the quilt up a little and covered Wu Ziyi's bare shoulder. The movement was small. Too small to be a promise, and like the kind of tomorrow he was able to do.
