الرقصة البطيئة للشهب — Section 1

## Chapter One: Father Walks Out

Close your eyes, and you can still see the brilliant stars of that year. The world seemed to stop, as if you could hear your own heartbeat, so you made a wish on a shooting star in secret: never forget the years we slow-danced together... Kaji, careful in every thought, devoted to the science of the stars; Takumi, the impatient fool of a boy who loved soccer; and Naoko, who believed that loving Kaji deeply was the greatest happiness there was. The three of them were the most important people in one another's lives. After Kaji died in an accident, grief sent Naoko into a life of sleeping in the hallway. Takumi reached out when she needed him. He brought her warmth, and he also pulled the two of them into memories that would not end. In the midst of it, Naoko faced her father walking out and the collapse of the family around her; Takumi struggled between the courage to pursue love and the betrayal of a friendship. This time, can the meteor that splits the sky make a wish come true on schedule once more? Chapter One Father Walks Out I have been sleeping in the hallway for half a year. Our house is in the suburbs, and it is quite spacious. Step onto the concrete and there is a place you could hardly call a hallway, though there is still room enough to spread a single quilt. Of course it is not a place for sleeping, but I have kept the bedding laid out there anyway. Every night I crawl into that nest. Above the hallway door, close to the ceiling, there is frosted glass set with a snowflake pattern. Houses about twenty years old often used glass like that. Because of it, the streetlight in front of the house can reach the place where I lie. The wallpaper is about to peel...

## Chapter Two: The Meteor Machine and the Planetarium

An opponent stands in front of me. I lean back and slip the punch he throws. Leaning back means dropping the torso away; it is the first basic they teach you in boxing. Even the basics are harder than I expected, and with my body as stiff as it is, the move turns into something that is neither one thing nor another. I barely get out of the way, and the distance between me and Yamazaki-senpai only shrinks. Damn... All I have learned is the jump and the straight. There is no way I can fight in close. I lock both arms tight against those red gloves, but Yamazaki-senpai's fists come in without mercy. "Thud!" A heavy, muffled impact. My guard is too weak, and I lose my balance. His fist slips between my arms and lands square on my face. He is only wearing sixteen-ounce gloves, and I have a headguard on, but the punch is solid. I sway and throw a wild right that cannot honestly be called a hook. Of course it never reaches him. Worse, a hard shot crashes into my right side. That one lands clean. The face hurts, but the body hurts more. A scalding heat surges up from the back of my throat. I am barely holding down the urge to vomit when I hear him. "Come on, Takumi. Attack." It is only practice, and his voice is perfectly calm. I nod and throw the punch the way I was taught. Weight on the legs, left arm straight. It is a clumsy jab even I am embarrassed by. Sure enough,...

## Chapter Three: Him and Father

A man's voice comes from the living room. I am in the kitchen and cannot make out the words, but I can feel how easy the mood is. Even so, I never thought the first meeting between my father and my boyfriend would arrive this fast. They live in Kyushu, and I had never planned to introduce them in the first place... The way things have turned out leaves me a little lost. So I will not dwell on it. I keep my attention on the cooking, dicing the onion, peeling the carrot, thinking as little as I can. I look toward the living room. The two of them sit across the low table, face to face. "Just a little longer," I call, rice paddle in hand. "About ten minutes." Father nods. "Got it!" "Yeah, no rush." Takumi says it, and then his face changes all at once. He seems to have forgotten my father is there, and answered in his ordinary voice. A beat later he steals a nervous glance at Father's reaction. He probably thinks he looks natural. Anyone watching can tell he does not. Father notices, of course. Why is Takumi so foolishly honest? Then again, that is one of his good points... Fortunately, Father pretends he has noticed nothing. "We'll keep talking. You take your time. Waiting while my daughter makes dinner isn't so bad." He picks up a can of beer and says it cheerfully. Takumi hurries a smile onto his whole face and lifts his can as well. Ah. This is worse than I thought... My head aches. I should turn around and slip away. "There's more beer. If it isn't enough,..."

## Chapter Four: The Shot

When I wake, I am wearing the same clothes as yesterday. I must have gone to bed without changing. Sunlight and shadow through the window tell me the day is already half gone. —I drank a little too much... I do not hold my liquor well. When I overdo it, the next day is unbearable, as if the alcohol has soaked all the way into me. Naoko's father, though, can really drink. He put away more than I did, and his face never flushed at all. He said he is from Kyushu. People say Kyushu men can drink, and it turns out they are right. I peel off the long-sleeved T-shirt that smells of sweat, find a clean shirt in the closet, and pull it on. I yawn, stretch, then lift my right leg and rotate it out from the thigh. When that is done I do the same with the left. It is the flexibility routine I have kept since my days in the soccer club. My legs will not come up as high as they used to. Hips and ankles are completely stiff. In high school the club coach used to say, "Kawashima, open up your range of motion as much as you can. A wider range means more sports you can play, and fewer injuries. This is not only for soccer." I keep stretching with his words in my head. Legs, knees, ankles... I work through muscle and joint in order, and finish by planting my toes on the floor and circling the ankle. For balance I hold the edge of the desk. The desk my parents bought me when I started elementary school is battered now. Every sticker has faded, and the places where they peeled away are plain to see,...

## Chapter Five: Little Sister Is Angry

For some reason, Father has changed. Not long ago he only stayed home and slept. He would not even look at the newspaper. Then, as if winter had given way to spring, he suddenly came alive. First he tore through the manga I lent him—my whole Yumiko Ōshima collection, the Moto Hagio volumes, and the complete Rinko Sasaki. When he finished Banana Bread Pudding, he went out of his way to find me hanging laundry in the yard and said, excited, "Naoko, this is good! Really something!" When he finished Dieting with Apples, he shouted. The Heart of Thomas made him cry. Every Day Is Summer Vacation he read three times. Even so, there is something very funny about a fifty-one-year-old man lost in shōjo manga. People who have read a lot of it skip plenty of pages without thinking. Father is moved to the core every time, and he feels everything. That simplicity is almost childlike. The best part came after he finished the Ōshima collection and I handed him Gugu Is a Cat Too. He had already grown attached to Saba, the cat in Ōshima's essays. On page eight he snapped the book shut. In a very serious voice he asked, "Naoko, what happened to Saba?" I said, "You'll know if you read it. If I tell you, what's the point?" "Fair enough." But he stared at the cover and never opened it again. He set Gugu Is a Cat Too gently on the sofa. Three or four days later, the book was still...

## Chapter Six: The Knockout for Revenge

Naoko seems to be changing. I do not understand what is happening, and I cannot go and check, but since the night we walked under the moon she has felt different, as if she has straightened her back. She cannot actually grow any taller. That is simply how she feels to me—grown, able to stand on her own. This Naoko is dazzling. People are supposed to stay the same, and yet they are creatures who change a little at every moment. A day can feel like nothing is happening when something is. I do not know whether I should try to catch hold of Naoko's change, or even whether a change like hers is good or bad. All I know is that she blinds me a little, and that makes me draw back. Maybe Naoko has taken another step forward. A step I cannot set my foot on. ※ The person who tells me what happened is Takako Kasuga. "I'm sorry!" Kasuga says. The phone is full of noise and hard to hear, but the dejection in her voice is obvious. "I shouldn't have gone to Naoko." "What happened?" "Last time, when we were out drinking with Izawa and the others, Naoko turned and left partway through. She said she wasn't feeling well. She really did look strange, so I decided that wasn't it. I asked the classmates in the other booth, and I found out they had been talking about Kaji. Naoko must have heard them." The name Kaji cinches my stomach. Because I can easily...

## Chapter Seven: Wishing on a Star

The Motoyama house goes on without a mother. Eri told us she left Saga because she wanted to see old classmates, and she has stayed here until spring break ends. Father, Eri, and I live together. Whenever I think of Mother alone in the house in Saga, the guilt sits heavy. Eri thinks of Mother and calls Saga every day. I have spoken with Mother several times myself. Against everyone's expectations, her voice is unusually firm, and that unsettles me more. Does she mean to forgive Father? Or has she already given up? "What is this family going to become?" I say with a sigh. I hate keeping things inside, so I tell Takumi about my parents. "They might get divorced." He worries over it in earnest. "In the end, one of them has to give in, your father or your mother. That's how it is. Divorces go up every year. I remember seeing a show like that on TV." "A show? What do you mean?" "I thought it was lonely." "Lonely?" "They've lived together for decades, haven't they? That isn't a short time. Then the husband gets his retirement money, they split it, and they say goodbye. Of course it's miserable. Lonely." It is an evening in spring, the sunlight hazy, and Takumi and I are walking the shopping street near home. We both made time to have dinner together. We had meant to eat out, but Father is away, and if I go out too, Eri will be left alone. "That would be too sad for Eri!" Takumi says it as if it were obvious...